


Dib in Wonderland

by Spectra22



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Related Fandoms, Invader Zim
Genre: Alice in Wonderland, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Alice in Wonderland Fusion, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Comedy, Dib-centric (Invader Zim), Disney Parody, Every Main Character Eventually, Everyone Stays In Character For The Most Part, Everyone is Canonical Aged, Fairy Tale Parody, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fantasy, Follows the Disney Movie in a Few Places, Gen, Growing, Humor, Inspired by Alice in Wonderland, Inspired by Disney, Jhonen Vasquez - Freeform, Magic, No Angst, No OCs, No Romance, No Sex, No Smut, No shipping, Only Canon Characters, Shrinking, Some References to Jhonen's Other Works, Tags May Change, Wonderland, Zim as The White Rabbit, exactly what it sounds like, falling, no ships, size changing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21766312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spectra22/pseuds/Spectra22
Summary: When everyone's favorite 12 year-old paranormal investigator chases a certain bunny-suited Irken down a rabbit hole, he ends up in a world of madness even MORE insane than... y'know, the usual amount he deals with. And for Dib, that's saying quite a lot.The Alice in Wonderland story you know and love has been INVADED!  Come witness the madness as the cast of Invader ZIM takes over the famous roles of the Mad Hatter, the Queen of Hearts, the Cheshire Cat, and the rest of Wonderland's deranged denizens!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. Down the Irken Hole

**Author's Note:**

> If this story looks and sounds familiar to any of you, and not just because there are already about a jillion Alice in Wonderland parodies out there, it's because I previously published it on Fanfiction.net a loooong time ago. Unfortunately, I wasn't a very good writer at the time (still not sure if I meet the standard of "good," though I'd like to think I've at least improved, a bit), so because of that, the version you're about to read has been given... let's say a face-lift, of sorts. The basic story is still there, with only a few parts here and there having been significantly changed, but the text itself has been largely re-written and the errors--the ones I was aware of, anyway--have been fixed.
> 
> Now that all that's out of the way, please enjoy!

Art by Me :)

 **Chapter 1: Down the Irken Hole**  
  
  
Once upon a time, on a filthy little planet known as "Urth," in a certain city, in a certain park, it was a dazzlingly beautiful day. The sun was shining in a clear blue sky, birdsong flittered through the air, and the world was draped in lush green shadows from the trees overhead.

But a young, pointy-haired alien hunter named Dib wasn’t paying attention to any of that Mother Nature business. 

His bespectacled eyes were, instead, trained on something that was decidedly a bit more _un_ natural: a “kid” with green skin, a black pompadour, and no ears walking his so-called “dog.”   
  
Zim stood there looking bored out of his mind, while GIR sniffed circles around him, following a bug he'd discovered. Flipping his notebook open to a blank page, Dib jotted down: 9:23 AM--Zim taking robot dog for a walk. Part of EVIL WORLD DOMINATION PLAN??! VERY SUSPICIOUS!!!  
  
Looking at what he'd written, Dib shook his head, ripped out the page and crumpled it up, then went back to his observations. Now GIR was playing peek-a-boo with a squirrel, and Zim looked like he was struggling just to stay conscious, his eyelids drooping and drool running down his chin.   
  
Dib had come to the park to spy on the Irken invader, but even he had to admit not much was happening in the way of incriminating evidence, so far. He pulled away his hi-powered binoculars and leaned back against the thick tree trunk, rubbing his eyes. He was having trouble keeping them open after staying up till three AM the night before to watch a ‘ _Mysterious Mysteries_ ’ marathon. He yawned, his eyelids fluttering as he settled back and thought about how nice and cool the grass felt and how peaceful it was to sit in the shade, how sleepy the sun was making him feel, and how he longed to just lie against the tree and…  
  
“Nyah! _No!_ ” He forced his eyes open and shook his head stubbornly. “I _can’t_ let my guard down! I’ll never rest until I expose Zim for the evil alien parasite he is!” Hearing his own voice snapped him out of his fatigue a bit. He lifted his binoculars and peeked back around the tree trunk.

How long had it been, now? To Dib, it sometimes felt like years... years since that fateful day Zim, an evil Irken soldier, had stepped through the door of his classroom and confirmed everything the young paranormal enthusiast had always known to be true: human beings were not alone in the universe. And ever since that day, Dib had made it his sworn mission to thwart any and all of the alien invader's plans to dominate the planet. It was often tiring and thankless work, but the duty of protecting the Earth had fallen to him, and he took pride in the fact that he alone had been chosen by fate for such a noble, heroic task.  
  
“Just you wait, Zim. You can’t pretend forever, and when you slip up, _I’ll_ be there, alert and ready!”   
  
His gaze set like steel, he fixed his eyes on his enemy, waiting to strike at any given moment.   
  
* ~ * ~ *  
  
Ten minutes later, Dib awoke from where he’d passed out in the grass. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, little blades of green sticking to his face. Immediately, he snapped up his binoculars and looked to see what Zim was up to.   
  
“Great...” Dib frowned. “He’s gone.”  
  
The boy shoved the binoculars into his backpack, angry at himself for falling asleep and missing out on the perfect "Zim observing" opportunity, when he heard a familiar voice shouting, “OH NO! I‘M LATE! _I‘M LAAAAAATE!!_ ”  
  
“Zim?” So he hadn’t left the park after all, evidently. Dib glanced up and spotted Zim rushing towards him... only he looked a _teensy_ bit different than he had a few minutes ago.  
  
 _"Zim?!_ ” Dib scrunched up his face in bewilderment. Although he’d seen plenty of Zim’s dumb disguises in the past, this was… well, let‘s just say Dib was not quite prepared for this one.   
  
Instead of his usual black wig, the alien's head was now covered by a furry white hood with two attached bunny ears that bobbed up and down as he ran, along with a pink dot of a nose tied around his face. And as if that wasn't strange enough, his striped maroon uniform had been replaced by an old-fashioned red tailcoat adorned with gold buttons.   
  
Dib looked on, dumbfounded, as Zim skidded to a stop in front of him, and a large gold watch emerged from his PAK. He gripped it tightly, staring into its face with wide, frenzied eyes. “She’s going to have my _head_ for this!” he cried and darted past.  
  
Instantly, Dib was on his feet and sprinting across the grass in pursuit of his nemesis. However, it wasn’t so easy keeping up with him, as Zim made quite the speedy little bunny.   
  
“Zim!” he called through panting breaths as he gradually began to catch up. “Where are you going? ~ huff~ And why…~huff~ why the heck are you dressed like a _bunny?!_ ”  
  
“I am no _bunny_ , I’m a RABBIT!” Zim snarled indignantly. “And I have no time for your foolish questions, stink-boy! I’m late!” With that, Zim disappeared down a large hole in the side of a hill that was half hidden beneath a hedge. 

A second later, Dib, who was too puzzled to think straight, disappeared right down after him.  
  
"Zim?" He inched along the tunnel on his hands and knees, his eyes narrowing to slits as the light from behind grew steadily dimmer. His head was reeling. _Of all the things to disguise himself as, why a_ bunny? he wondered. It was just too bizarre, even for Zim. He was _definitely_ up to something! Dib was certain of it, and he was going to find out what. But then, as his initial shock began to wear off, he realized how carelessly he’d acted by following in so hastily after the devious extraterrestrial.  
  
“Hmm, this _could_ be some sort of trap. Maybe I should turn back while I stiiiiiilIIILLLYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!” Dib’s words were suddenly engulfed by his screams of terror as the ground beneath his hands took a sharp slide downwards, and he found himself plunging headfirst down a gaping black hole. 


	2. Fall of DOOM

**Chapter 2: Fall of DOOM**  
  
  
Dib’s breath caught in his throat as he tumbled through the air. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, waiting for the bone-shattering impact that was sure to come.  
  
He waited… and waited… and waited.   
  
_Hmm? What’s taking so long?_ he wondered. _If I’m gonna die a horrible, painful death, I’d sorta like to get it over with_.   
  
He dared to crack open an eye and discovered that he was still falling. But strangely, he didn’t appear to be falling very fast. In fact, he seemed to be floating rather pleasantly downwards, his black trench coat billowing out gracefully behind him in the gentle upward draft. 

However, this was the _least_ strange thing Dib was noticing at that particular moment; it was looking around at the sides of the hole that really caused his jaw to drop.  
  
Instead of the rough-hewn, earthen sides he'd been expecting, Dib found himself surrounded by walls papered in faded teal and gold wallpaper and covered with all sorts of things such as cupboards, picture frames, mirrors, light fixtures, clocks, bookshelves, posters, and a whole bunch of other stuff you wouldn’t expect to find several hundred feet underground. Stranger still, a number of household objects like tables, chairs, lamps, teapots, and teacups all hung suspended in mid-air around him. "Whoa!" He quickly dodged out of the way as a chess set drifted by.  
  
"This… this is _impossible!_ This is _definitely_ not a normal hole!” he decided with his usual knack for stating the obvious. But then what _was_ it? A portal, maybe? Was it possible he was falling into some other dimension? What _kind_ of dimension, though? If Dib knew Zim, it probably wouldn't be a pleasant one. "So this _was_ just just one of his traps!" he said to himself in that excitable way of his. "Zim must've set this whole thing up so I’d follow him here and be sucked into a pit of hideous _doom!_ ” He paused. “But why the bunny costume? And why go to all the trouble when he could’ve just zapped me with a death-ray or something? And how did he know I was spying on him when I was being so stealthy and...” 

Dib rambled on and on, trying to make sense of the situation. He had a habit of talking to himself in long monologues, a sad result of having no friends.   
  
He looked down. The light in the tunnel was fairly dim, and, try as he might, he couldn’t make out what was below him… if there _was_ anything below him. “What if this hole is bottomless?” he thought, but quickly dismissed the idea. It couldn’t _possibly_ be bottomless. After all, the planet was only so big in diameter. “I suppose I’d eventually come out on the other side of the Earth. But wait… That’s impossible, too, since I’d be burnt to a crisp before I even made it to the outer core.”   
  
This idea didn’t exactly put Dib’s mind at ease. “Well um, then again, maybe the Earth's actually hollow, like some of those guys on the Truth Shrieker forum are always saying,” he said to himself, desperately trying to push that last image out of his head. “In that case, I wouldn’t have to worry about burning up. I guess once I got to the center of the Earth I’d be stuck there, though, since _every_ way would be up. But that’s just ridiculous.” He chuckled. “As soon as I made it there, the force of Earth’s gravity would crush me like a soda can in a trash compactor.”  
  
Somehow, this thought didn’t make Dib feel any better either, so he decided to just shut up and concentrate on the passing scenery, though not before muttering a sarcastic, “Thanks, _Dad_ ,” to his science-loving father for forcing all those fun and informative tidbits of geological trivia into his head. He tried to pay attention to all the objects swirling by, but it seemed like the further he descended, the more disturbing they got. No longer was he staring at tea sets and rocking chairs, but rather such morbid objects as a dead pink bunny floating in a jar of formaldehyde, a creepy looking Doughboy, a freaky Elmo doll, and an ugly Chihuahua. “Oooohkaaaaay…” Dib very quickly came to the conclusion that he’d had quite enough scenery for a while. Even so, he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that he didn't have his camera with him.   
  
After awhile, he began glancing around again, his curiosity getting the better of him, as it usually did. "Might as well read something to pass the time," he thought as he grabbed a book off a coffee table and squinted at the title. "Alice's Adventures in... Wonderland?" He flipped the cover open and started to read, but he didn't make it past the first few sentences; the light was simply too dim, and after straining his eyes trying to decipher the tiny print, he gave up and stuck the book on a passing fireplace mantle.

As he fell past a shelf, he picked up a jar that caught his eye. “Eww...” He made a face at the label, which read _Jellied Pig’s Toes._ Lord only knew why it’d caught his eye in the first place. Dib released it with a smile, wondering if maybe it would drop and land on Zim, but like everything else, the jar floated up above him and disappeared into the darkness.  
  
Minutes passed, and Dib continued to plummet. The fall seemed to be taking forever, and he was actually starting to get a little bored. Just as he was debating whether starting a round of Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall would be worth his time, the laws of gravity suddenly returned with a vengeance. 

“Nyah!“ he yelped as he dropped down the remaining length of the hole. He landed with a loud FWUMP in a pile of dead leaves, which did little to cushion the impact.  
  
“Oww...” Dib sat up and rubbed his backside. He’d be feeling that one in the morning. “Now where am I?” he asked no one in particular. 

Just then, he spotted a flash of red and white out the corner of his eye heading down a long hallway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dib is, in fact, mistaken--as was I--thinking he'd be crushed by Earth's gravity once he reached the center of the world. As it turns out (Science Time, kiddies!), gravity gets weaker the deeper you go, so at the center of the Earth the gravity would be at zero. Just goes to show you should always do your research even when you're simply writing a dumb fanfic ^w^;


	3. Bottles...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos so far! I really appreciate them! ^u^

**Chapter 3: Bottles...**  
  
  
“ _Zim!_ ” Dib immediately leaped up and took off after him. He pumped his legs as hard as he could, and soon he was right on Zim’s tail (yes, Zim _literally_ had a cute, fluffy white cotton-tail to complete his bunny motif). “Zim! What’s going on? Where _are_ we?”  
  
The Zim-rabbit flashed his eyes at Dib in annoyance. “I know not of this _‘Zim’_ of which you speak, so stop calling me that! I am the White Rabbit, and you will refer to me as such!”  
  
Dib rolled his eyes. “Give me a break, Zim. All you did was buy some cheap bunny ears and tie a stupid pink nose around your head. Do you think I’m dumb?”  
  
“As a matter of fact…” Zim said with a smirk. Dib scowled, knowing he’d walked right into that one. He tried to cook up a good retaliation, but he was running out of breath, and Zim was now too far ahead to hear him anyway. Dib turned a corner just in time to see Zim's tail disappear through an open door at the end of the hall.

 _Oh no you don't,_ he thought, determined not to let the alien out of his sight again. 

He dashed through the door mere seconds later and found himself in the middle a large, dimly lit room with a high vaulted ceiling. Smooth marble walls stretched out uninterrupted by any doors or decoration, and the only piece of furniture present was a small table made of glass sitting off to one side.  
  
There was absolutely no sign of Zim.   
  
_No! He_ can't _have gotten away!_ Dib’s eyes darted around the room, searching for Zim’s means of escape. They landed on the tabletop instead, where a small glint of gold attracted his attention. He walked over, his boot heels echoing loudly on the checkered tile floor, and picked up the tiny object. 

“A key? Then there has to be a door around here somewhere...” Dib looked around again. He didn’t see any doors, but behind him he spied a long purple curtain covering a section of the wall.   
  
Odd... how had he not noticed it there before?   
  
Being his paranoid self, he eyed it with suspicion, then pulled a corner aside to reveal a very small door. And I mean _very_ small. So small, in fact, that it barely even came up to his knees.  
  
"You have _got_ to be kidding me."  
  
Frowning, he crouched down to examine the door more closely. “How's anyone supposed to fit through a door _that_ size?”   
  
Then Dib noticed the doorknob. For a moment all he could do was stare at it, his brow furrowed in confusion at its unmistakable shape. It looked exactly like… 

“ _Dad_?”  
  
Of course, Dib was more than used to seeing truck-loads of merchandise modeled after his world-famous father, the one and only Professor Membrane--their house was full of junk shaped like the Professor‘s head, after all--but seeing something like that down _here_ of all places was a bit surprising. 

He leaned forward and tugged on the strange looking knob, only to be rewarded with a loud yelp of surprise.

“Hey! Watch it, Mr. Grabby Pants!” the doorknob said in a voice that bore an uncanny resemblance to that of the aforementioned Professor. “You don’t have to pull so hard you know.”

“Um, sorry... I guess,” Dib apologized, somehow not really all that shocked to be talking to a doorknob. He went to skool with an alien, had once encountered a horrible space moose, had traveled to a dimension made entirely of ham, and had even been turned into a walking bologna. He could certainly handle this. It was probably just animatronic anyway, he figured, although the fact that the thing looked and sounded just like his dad certainly upped the weird factor a few notches.

“Ah, well, no harm done,” came the reply. “Now, is there something I can help you with, young man?”

Dib lowered himself to the floor, leaning in on his forearms till he was face to face with the doorknob. “Actually, I was wondering if Zim came through here by any chance?” he said in a low, conspiratorial voice.

“Zim?” 

“Yeah, little green alien? Wearing a bunny costume for some reason?”

“Ah, yes," said the doorknob. "As a matter of fact, he did. You juuuuust missed him.”  
  
“Ha! So Zim _was_ here!” Dib sprang up, clenching his fists in determination. “I _have_ to follow him!”

The door burst out laughing, much to Dib‘s irritation. “Don’t be silly, my boy! You’d never be able to fit that big head of yours through here!”

“My head’s not _BIG!_ ” Dib huffed. For the life of him, he could never understand why everyone said that.

“Uh, sure… of course not,” the Membrane-esqe doorknob muttered, sounding not the least bit convinced. “Well, nonetheless, I suggest you try that bottle on the table over there.”

“Huh?” Dib was about to point out that there was no bottle, but when he turned around he did, in fact, see a small glass vial sitting on the tabletop... a vial he was absolutely _positive_ hadn’t been there a moment ago (there was just no way he, "The Obsessive/Compulsive Dib," could've missed something like that).

As he picked it up, a tag tied around the bottle's neck brushed the back of his hand. “Drink Me...?” he read the words printed on it, eyeing the liquid inside with his usual level of scrutiny. It wasn't any sort of liquid he recognized. “And exactly how is drinking this stuff supposed to help me?” 

“Just give it a try. I invented the formula myself!" the doorknob boasted in the Professor's deep, jovial voice. "I guarantee you’ll be thoroughly satisfied. _And_ it’s quite tasty, I might add!”

“Well… if you say so.” Dib shrugged. After all, this _was_ his dad… sort of. He could trust him, right? 

He uncorked the bottle, giving the contents a little sniff before taking a cautious sip. “Mmm… Hey! That _is_ pretty good!” he remarked, licking his lips and taking a longer drink. "Sort of makes my mouth feel all tingly."  
  
Wiping his mouth on his sleeve, Dib went to set the empty bottle back on the table, but before he could, he noticed that something about it seemed a little… _off_.

He blinked, furrowing his brow. Had the tabletop _always_ been that high? And it wasn't just his mouth that felt tingly now, but his entire body. And what was with the weird sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach all the sudden?

Dib was so caught up in the odd feeling, that it took him a moment to notice everything around him was rapidly enlarging. 

"W-what the?!" He felt a surge of panic as he saw the walls rising up higher, the ceiling growing further away, the entire room expanding around him like a balloon filling with air. 

" _What's happening?!_ ”


End file.
